Regrets
I want to paint myself as a hero.
Growing up one of my guilty pleasures was reading stories about heroes - and not just the ones from history books. I secretly preferred the sensationalized versions that sparked romance and excitement, even when they didn’t teach me things. I liked morality as a concept better when it was black and white… and easy.
I think one of the reasons it’s taken me so long to start taking down my account of my years in the resistance is because I wanted to be better. It’s so tempting to portray myself as the protagonist and as the hero. That’s who I always dreamed I would be, and now that my adventures have come to a close and I can look back, it’s hard to acknowledge that’s not always who I was.
The thing about the world is that it isn’t black and white. Ethics don’t work as clearly as they do in the stories, and it’s not always easy to know if you’re doing the right thing. Morality is never absolute, and this story isn’t without its fair share of regrets.
I’ve taken enough time I feel I can be objective about what happened, honest about my doubts, and capable of owning up to my mistakes. I made plenty of them, and there are things that will haunt me for years to come. It’s time for me to look back at my actions, and to think fondly of my friends.
There was Franza, the sweet-talking dog who held together an unlikely group of rebels through the toughest times. There was Irolt, a dwarf whose talents at the forge were overshadowed only by his short temper. There was Belthor, who could hide behind anything but was cursed with bad luck. There was Luka, the most terrifying mother figure a band of misfits could hope to find in their lifetimes. And there was me, Radley, who learned more from travelling with the others than I ever did from all my books.
There are elements of a heroic tale, to be sure. There’s plenty of magic, action, and daring missions. There’s even a bit of romance toward the end. More than that however, it’s a true story - one that is filled with words unsaid and paths untaken, possibilities that will remain forever unknown.
It’s the story of our adventures.
Growing up one of my guilty pleasures was reading stories about heroes - and not just the ones from history books. I secretly preferred the sensationalized versions that sparked romance and excitement, even when they didn’t teach me things. I liked morality as a concept better when it was black and white… and easy.
I think one of the reasons it’s taken me so long to start taking down my account of my years in the resistance is because I wanted to be better. It’s so tempting to portray myself as the protagonist and as the hero. That’s who I always dreamed I would be, and now that my adventures have come to a close and I can look back, it’s hard to acknowledge that’s not always who I was.
The thing about the world is that it isn’t black and white. Ethics don’t work as clearly as they do in the stories, and it’s not always easy to know if you’re doing the right thing. Morality is never absolute, and this story isn’t without its fair share of regrets.
I’ve taken enough time I feel I can be objective about what happened, honest about my doubts, and capable of owning up to my mistakes. I made plenty of them, and there are things that will haunt me for years to come. It’s time for me to look back at my actions, and to think fondly of my friends.
There was Franza, the sweet-talking dog who held together an unlikely group of rebels through the toughest times. There was Irolt, a dwarf whose talents at the forge were overshadowed only by his short temper. There was Belthor, who could hide behind anything but was cursed with bad luck. There was Luka, the most terrifying mother figure a band of misfits could hope to find in their lifetimes. And there was me, Radley, who learned more from travelling with the others than I ever did from all my books.
There are elements of a heroic tale, to be sure. There’s plenty of magic, action, and daring missions. There’s even a bit of romance toward the end. More than that however, it’s a true story - one that is filled with words unsaid and paths untaken, possibilities that will remain forever unknown.
It’s the story of our adventures.
This story is also available on the following sites and in the following formats:
Writing.Com //
About the Piece |
This was written as a small promotional piece for an upcoming collaborative project that will be the novelization of the podcast Adventures!
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Publication History |